ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Randomize
