I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize