another moral hangover. fuck.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
