Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
