hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
