You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
