she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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