dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize