So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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