If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
