we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
