Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Your shirt... Was in my pants
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
