There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
