she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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