My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
