Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
