I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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