im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
