yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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