You can't motorboat a personality
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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