I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
