dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize
