Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
