She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
