we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
