Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
