the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Your dad touched me again.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
