That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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