Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Vodka?
Forever.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
