Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry goneinthemorning hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(352): View more from Florida

She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"

Fav 16 2230 5288
share tweet
(704): View more from North Carolina

they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.

Fav 6 4466 1355
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(818): View more from California

...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.

Fav 11 2860 1125
share tweet
(515): View more from Iowa

He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.

Fav 10 3280 1087
share tweet
(703): View more from Virginia

Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?

Fav 8 1903 900
share tweet
(616): View more from Michigan

This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.

Fav 16 3222 1281
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(214): View more from Texas

I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me

Fav 10 1752 1164
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(913): View more from Kansas

He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.

Fav 5 523 268
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(608): View more from Wisconsin

he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie

(1-608): View more from Wisconsin

her booty call wants to take you to dinner?

Fav 0 66 12
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT