I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
