i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
