May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
