Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
