It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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