i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
