the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Randomize
