Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize