My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
