White coat. Heels.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
