what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
