this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
found the other keg... it's in the tree
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
