Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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