That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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