guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
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