Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
