im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
