I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
You left your phone here
Wait...
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
