okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Randomize
