Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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