you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
