I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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