My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
