there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
