All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
