I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
