i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
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