You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
