why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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